What are the pros and cons of moving to India, versus staying in the U.S. (or some other country)? This question was debated so many times by my friends and I (when I was deciding to move). It still continues to be debated now by my friends who are themselves thinking about moving. “What is the best place to raise children?” seems to be the biggest question. I would like to invite you all to share/contriute your opinion on the advantages of raising children in India or in another country. I think it would definitely help many who are not sure whether moving to India is the right decision or not. I especially would stronly urge those of you who have lived in another country, moved to India for a few years and then moved back to the other country to please share your experiences/views about bringing up kids.
Here are my two cents worth:
Advantagaes of Raising Children In India (not in any order of priority):
1. Since I live in an apartment, there are so many children who are playing downstairs everyday. Kids have the independence to just go and play with their friends. No need to have organized play dates.
2. Building a close bond with cousins, grandparents and other family members, which was difficult to do while we lived in the U.S.
3. Since they see so many people who are less-priviledged than them, a sense of appreciation and a desire to waste less gets a strong foundation.
Advantages Of Raising Children In U.S.
1. Access to excellent and immediate medical care, especially in case of emergencies.
2. Access to vast resources, especially the libraries.
3. Well structred sports programs & other activities available in school itself.
These are some of the advantages. Please do share your opinions/ideas as well. There are especially the issues of culture (partying, dating, smoking, drugs, etc) and of education. Looking forward to an active discussion.
Tags: Culture, India, Kids, Moving to India, R2I, Return to India
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am
Hi charankanya,
Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
I was very depressed, and tensed due to many reasons but your few lines of information gave me a booster.
I am very much concern about girls growing in US culture and education system.
Reasons I worry about :
1. Ratio of Indians in one class , and problem is other kids get comfortable with their groups. and most of the time our kid will be left out.
2. Child gets comments on lunch tiffin (Indian food spices fragrance)?
3. 5th 6th graders mind well about there dress code and branded clothes .( or they will be called nud)
4. Hair style, language Pronunciation,color difference matters.
5. Song,Dance,music,sports, movie, selection and difference in group.
6. Festivals, different “day’s” Celebration procedure,difference of importance and reasons, compair to Indian traditional ways and reasons.
7. If you are sudden sick you will have to wait for appointment which will be one week later.. by the time one can get serious, and in emergency,wait for hours and hours for Doctor’s visit,costly dental treatment.
8. To Provide extra enrichment programmes to kids are highly costly, to balance on one man’s salary.
9. Kids get more attracted to fashion and style. instead of focusing studies.
10. Teachers can not force students, teacher does not get respect from other kids some time. Mostly child do not get encouragement for competitions as teacher say’s its up to you. and others do not show much interest due to lack of parents support from home . This environment affects on sincere students too.
11. On H4 visa can not get job. On L2 visa can work but will have to spend money on courses to get good job.which are very high fees.
12. Day care’s are costly and virus container.
Incidence :
1. In PTA function, there also all other parents make their own group. We tried to talk but that was just formal talk and then again we were left out.As others we did not had fun,sport,TV talk show gossip topics to enjoy but we tried our best.
2. In California my daughter is only Indian in class. she faces group problem.bad experiance, she tried to make her friends but others do trouble.(lot of incidents) she took long time to adjust.her teacher was good.
3. My friends went for bally class in school. There in school premises 13 -14 years students were openly doing romance.My friend with kids was waiting outside the restroom but few teen age studen’s went before them inside restroom and didn’t came out for long and after long time they came out screaming and was doing hi 5 to their out side friends. Small kids watching this was shame.
There may be more things other parents also experiencing.
Reasons we compair in US are:
1. Husband has good Job,Salary, carrier,opportunity,development, appreciation and value of hard work.
2. Kids are small so good and adjustable flexible time to accept changes of place as per software project work.
3. Can visit international places and wonders of world.
4. Comfortable immediate reliable social service.(police,Fire fighter,Animal rescue,Hospitals)
5. Source of Books,Library.
6. Beautiful, maintained parks,Road,public premises.
7. Technology ideas. Science practical developments.
8. volunteer option in many field, to learn awareness of social work’s importance and implement discipline.
9. I did medical assistants part time job in boston, hard work was appreciated, It was good 5 months experience. but faced problems too.
10. Freedom of many thing , as no Gender difference for many work responsibilities.with no conditions.
All parents pl share your smart tips and ideas? how we can make our kids understand about Indian Values which we always care about And Culture which we want our kids should feel proud of.
I would like to know now for 6th grade onwards How different is study patterns in India compare to US?
Which is right place for kids to get more exposure to studies. with
balancing above mentioned problems?
Reason to think about US citizenship/go back to Inida is :
Many parents says Higher education is very good in US. and great value and appreciation for hard work, less population no kick- back’s for degree’s.
Now more % of immigrants from all over shifting to US for better education, and citizenship.
In my case Now we have opportunity to stay and get citizen ship. For citizen’s education fees are comparatively less.I am not sure how other way it is beneficial.
My daughter she wants to stay here just because here they have more PE hours and no study stress,practical way of learning,interesting Out door ED programme. (she is uncertain).
Me and my husband always liked in India as our parents,friends,relatives are there and we have good identity there.we would like to live our senior citizenship there.
But Just to make our kids way easy from discomfort, struggle,competition,corruption,unsecured,unreliable,kind of problems in India.
We think atleast when they will be matured they will have option in front of them.
So we thought that my husband can continue Job in US to keep his GC valid. and then he can apply for citizenship after conditioned years of stay in US. and I can stay in India and continue kids school, take care of grandparents. and can travel in between years to US with kids only in Indian summer vacation.
We are gathering more information about this situation will work or not. if you know please let us know.
If you would have same problem what will be your opinion and decision?.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Hi Charankanya/ Surekha,
we moved back here 6 months back with 13 & 7 yr old daughters from NJ. My kids doesn’t miss US. Now they are very happy here going in ICSE school, have so many friends and doing good in studies. I was in touch with charankanya back in february 09. Her tips and information was really helpfull and appriciated. Thanks CK. we came back after spending more than eight yrs in singapore and Usa. We were in process of getting GC and had singapore permenant residency card. we bought good aparment, kids are with their dear ones, have kids around just like them to play and share so less peer pressure, they dont want to go back to usa. My elder daughters grades are not much high as she expects but teachers are very co operative and she is very sincere in studies so I worry less. we dont think much about our life is usa and discomfort in india much. at the end of the day we are happy and we dont find any time to get bored or miss anything. keep writing then.
Thanks to charankanya again
November 10th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Hi Yugandhara,
Welcome back to India. Glad to hear that you and your girls have settled down well. Curious to know which school you finally chose for your kids (& why). Would also love to hear about any moving experiences (do’s or don’ts, etc..) that you would like to share.
CK.
November 13th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Hi CK, We came back in May. My kids are in Vidya valley and are very happy. We shipped around 25 boxes and it reached here in Mid August. Everything was in good condition and we paid some custom duty according to the list. They didnt open any box. Sometime I regret about not shipping my sofa but them the shipping cost was a big factor so we are fine with it. We were in two countries in last 9 yrs and didnt buy any property. We have singapore residency but not planning to go there as spore is very very small place/city. Sometime I worry for my kids future education but its future we never know what will happen. School is good, we bought an apt. waiting to shift there, kids are happy and doing fine. I will write again bye for now
ashwini/ yugandhara
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 am
Charankanya,
Great blog. I really appreciate the wide range of topics you have discussed. We are planning to return from US to India in May 2010 and settle down in Pune. We are specifically considering Baner area.
Yungandhara,
We have heard good things about Vidya Valley and are hoping to get our son enrolled there in 4th std. starting next academic year. Could you share some details about the admission process at Vidya Valley?
Which other schools did you consider?
Thanks,
Sameer
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Thanks Sameer. Good luck with the move.
CK.
December 8th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Hi Sameer, aren’t you concerned about how your son will cope up with Hindi? We are also moving back to India, my son will take the admission for 4th Gr. The only thing I am concerned about is languages.Is anybody out there can share their experiences moving with older kids and how they perform in languages or how long it takes for them to be good and if schools gives these kids any concessions in examinations etc. Please help.
Charankaya, how old were your kids when you moved to India?
December 10th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
@Seema,
Yes we are sure he will have a tough time coping up with Hindi. However, we are hoping that a year will be enough for him to pick it up. There are a few things we have been doing to try and minimize the impact. We have been teaching him basic Marathi - devnagari - script (reading and writing). We also have been reading to him basic Hindi to expand his vocabulary. Of course, even with this I think he is going to be way behind in Hindi as well as Marathi as far as reading and writing go.
Sameer
December 13th, 2009 at 3:32 am
Hi Sameer, I just talked to someone who took their children to India at ages 9 and 5, from Banglore and the response was good that children learned kannada, Hindi, surprisingly his son came 1st in Sanskrit. It took one year for them but they are so good now, no problem at all. It eased my tension a lot.
January 28th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
There is so much on my mind…i do not know where to begin. We have moving back to india on our mind forever and now we are at the point that we might want to do it in a year or so.
The reasons for the move are
1. To be closer to family, aging parents
2. To inbibe indianness in our kids..age 5-1/2boy and 1-1/2girl.
3. We also worry of how the kids in the US are indifferent to their parents and rather disconnected when they are older.
The things that tend to hold us back are -
1. The rat race school/education system. I hate to have my kids deal with the aggressive competition and to have to give in to the system of trying to win rather than enjoying and learning process.
2. The extremely corrupt govt/private systems. Bad roads, pollution…i worry that these are going to be the only things we would talk about at the dinner table everyday. And end up tired and frustrated. Even though, i understand it is an attitude thing, but it does penetrate everyday small joys..
3.The metro in india are fairly western and for that matter aping the west blindly…the influence on the kids and their getting into the trap of sex/drugs etc etc…Atleast in the US, we know how the kids function and we can have open conversations and good guidance. The secret from parents is what i fear.
4. The hypocracy of the society…the cpmparison and the show off attitudes.
5. The growing costs.
6.Hard to find reliable help at home
My thoughts are of moving to india to a smaller town..not small town but level two..unlike the typical bangalore/pune kind of place. Maybe mysore, ahmedabad or similar. WHich would address some of my concerns. Any thoughts on that would be a huge help.
I am very confused at this point. We are at the point where we wanna make a decision, one way or the other, soon. I need a lot of help and input on all the points listed above and it will be greatly appreciated.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:35 am
Hello ,
Me and my hubby is having opprortunity to work out of US LA . My son is 13 years of age now.Studying in 8th std.Is it advisable to shift him from Indian education system (CBSE) to US ?. I am in big delima ! pls advise.
February 19th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
We moved to Gandhinagar, Gujarat approximately 9 months ago after living in Sydney for 9 years. Luckily, our daughter is young, she’ll be 5 in March. As both my husband (although Bengali) and I are from Pune so settling in g’ngr was slightly tough. My daughter initially had langauge problems as she knew marathi and ‘aussie’ but she picked up hindi in abt 4 mths and now she loves it here.
i also had to make a lot of adujstments - i was a working mom in sydney as the child care facilities were really good and i didn’t feel any guilt in sending my daughter to one there but here there is no concept of child-care / after care. the alternative is to keep a full-time maid which i think defeats the purpose.
it was also difficult to make social contact but there are always ways. i enrolled my daughter in skating classes where she has made friends and so have i.
all in all, i think once you make up your mind, just do it - the more you think, it becomes more difficult….
February 22nd, 2010 at 7:32 am
We all have an idea of what a model parent is and what childhood should be like. Most of the time this opinions is based on our experience growing up in India. Thus I feel the biggest advantage of raising kids in India is that we can create an atmosphere which seems natural to us(from our childhood experiences) and in this way be able to relate to our children better. This will also prevent us from unfairly raising barriers that seem misplaced in a foreign society.
Some other reasons I find I don’t want to raise my kids here :
1. The outward looking materialistic/consumeristic nature of life here.
2. The tendency of Americans to perennially market themselves - the “I/me/myself” talk - beginning right from childhood.
3. The fixation with outward appearance.
4. The organized play time kids have here. I don’t see kids playing on the streets - its all community and private hockey, soccer leagues.
5. The world-less view of the education and the thought that the world is their inheritance.
6. The unstructured nature of education - u do what u like and everybody wins.
7. Formation of groups based on race/nationality thus making immigrant children feel they are different/inferior.
Will update when i think of more
March 19th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Yugandhara,
Hi! may I know which place in India did you move to? I have a 13 and a 8year old.not able to decide on the schools.
-varu
March 20th, 2010 at 1:34 am
Hi,
We would be shifting to Pune in April 2010.I would be considering Vidya valley and St Mary’s for my daughter entering 3rd grade.I was wondering do these schools require transfer certificate,and what other documents…from her school in US?How is Vidya valley?Any feedback would be highly appreciated.
April 16th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Hi;
Looking for some advices from all of you:
Due to project reasons , I have to move to UK.I have a school going kid and he goes to Standard IV here in India.He is doing good in his classes.
How would be the hassles/challenges for him to get educated there in his primary school time? We have plan to come back before he goes to class 7 ( equivalent ) in India again..What are the possible effects - both pros and cons?
Looking for advices.
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Thank you all for sharing the experiences. I am in the same dilemma. what to do. Go back to India or stay in US and my worry is little different so may be some of you can advice.
we have a 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son. I am trying to decide if i want my children get into US system. We live in LA and honestly i have seen Indian / Pakistani kids who grew up here in both the extremes. Desi Kids completely westernized and Desi kids who are probably more traditional than what you see back home.
LA especially our Area has a large Desi community so you feel home expect that you don’t have your parents,relatives and friends.
we recently spend almost a year in India and what i saw was kids (meaning teens) are getting westernized on a fast track. I am not sure how the Indian culture will be in the next 10-20 years because everything is changing so fast. What if it turns out to be just like here by the time our kids grow up.
Needless to say I am very confused and appreciate a discussion.